On being an introvert

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Hello everyone! Today I want to write about something that is close to my heart – being an introvert.

One day, I was telling someone about my dog being an introvert (he rarely barks and he doesn’t demand attention.) That person looked at me and said, “ohh,” with a disappointed expression. As if being an introvert is a bad thing. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “There is nothing wrong with being an introvert!” But, being an introvert myself, I don’t scream at the top of my lungs.

I am an introvert. I spent many years of my life pretending to be an extrovert. But I don’t think I fooled anyone. I just made my life harder in those years. Maybe you are an introvert too. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Introverts are people who find energy in being alone. I’d like to think that introversion and extraversion are a continuum rather than two distinct categories. Everyone is some blend of an introvert or an extrovert. For example, I am 30% extrovert and 70% introvert (this number came from the OCEAN personality test, which you can take for free here.) Being high on introversion means that I need time alone to recharge after social events, and that my favourite and most relaxing thing to do is to curl up with a book. (Though maybe you have a different favourite introvert activity, like watching shows, or talking walks outside.) I don’t believe there is such a thing as a complete introvert or extrovert.

Introversion does not equate to being antisocial. There are introverts who like people, and there are extroverts who dislike people. As an introvert, I enjoy meeting good friends one-on-one, or in a small group. I also enjoy spending time alone doing the things I love to do. Back when I was trying to be an extrovert, I went to every social event that I was invited to, even with people that I didn’t care for. It exhausted me and left me feeling less than fulfilled. I learned the hard way that I’d rather spend a full day by myself than two hours with bad company.

This means that as an introvert, I can still enjoy going to social activities. It’s just that it would be exhausting to have brunch, then dinner, then bowling, all in one day. I would prefer to do one thing a day, then have the rest of the time to recharge.

I also love going to pole dancing classes, where I get to challenge myself and learn something new every time. (This has nothing to do with being an introvert or an extrovert.)

Introversion does not equate to being shy. Introversion relates to where we get our energy (either from within, or from other people.) Meanwhile, shy people are nervous or anxious around other people. There are shy extroverts and introverts who are perfectly comfortable around other people. I just happen to be an introvert who is perhaps a bit shy as well. Introverts are also not necessarily quiet. I know of quite a few loud people who claim to be introverts. And I can imagine that extroverts can appear quiet in certain social situations. I am sometimes a quiet introvert, and sometimes a loud introvert, depending on where I am and who I am with.

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There are perks to being an introvert. I like listening, and would love to listen to someone talk about their day. Since I am okay to spend a lot of time alone in my thoughts, I can come up with ideas for novels, or blog posts (like this one here). That’s not to say that extroverts can’t be creative, they perhaps do it in their own way. I enjoy hobbies that I can do alone, such as reading, writing, pole, and sewing.

Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg is an introvert? And so is Bill Gates? And Steven Spielberg? And JK Rowling? The list goes on and on.

So, let’s be proud to be introverts. And don’t let anyone tell us otherwise.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are an introvert, do you ever feel that there is “judgment” towards introverts? Do you have a favourite introvert activity?

I’d also love to hear from the extroverts out there as well (you guys are mysterious beings) 😉

I was about to post a review on Marie Lu’s Legend today. [Don’t worry, that review is still coming.] But after reading Stella’s post about being an introvert, I realized that I had a lot to say on this topic. Check out her post here!

 

24 thoughts on “On being an introvert

  1. I consider myself very much an introvert. I prefer to listen rather than open my mouth. I don’t care for a lot of the social events a lot of people just have to be part of, and I tend to watch people more than I care to be the center of attention.

    That said, 20+ years of law enforcement, theater, teaching, and politics has taught me how to be an extrovert. I still consider my being an extravert to be nothing more than a good acting job. It’s a capability I keep tucked away and have to learned to turn it on or off as needed.

    It’s not who I really am.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad to hear from another introvert. I feel the same way exactly. It is a useful skill to be able to switch into extrovert mode when needed. That’s something I am still working on.

      Thanks for sharing and for dropping by 🙂

      Sophie

      Like

  2. I love this! I got really into the difference between introverts and extroverts a while ago and it’s amazing how little people understand. However, I totally get it. And after learning a bit about it, I’ve experienced the differences in my life.

    I am an extrovert. As such, I don’t often create my own energy, but feed off the energy of others. (God. I sound like a parasite. 😜) And I notice this most when the tone shifts in a group of people. My mood will shift with them because that’s the energy I obtain from them. The hard part about being an extrovert is when you run your introverted friends dry. They are out of steam, but you still have energy left because of what you took from them. It’s a crazy concept, but I’ve seen it happen.

    P.s. we don’t mean to drain you all. And we hate that it causes you to need time alone because we want to spend time with you. Sometimes extroverts just have too much energy and nowhere to go with it so we are loud and overbearing. Sowwy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad to hear from an extrovert! Thanks for sharing your point of view! You don’t need to apologize at all. I value my extroverted friends because they tend to be the life of the party and they bring the fun wherever they go. I also love that I don’t have to worry about doing all the talking, that I can ask a question and my extroverted friends can just talk on and on about it, and I am happy to listen to what they say. I also think that the energy is contagious! The worst thing at a dinner is when no one at the table is talking. That rarely happens when there is a handful of extroverts around 🙂
      What I mean to say is that the world needs a bit of both!
      Thanks for sharing 🙂

      Like

  3. I love this post! And it describes myself and many people I know very well. It is so true though that oftentimes being “introverted” is equated with being anti-social, but of course, that’s not true. My introvert friends understand me and know that I need time alone to refresh and restart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad that you like this post! I do still find that people associate introversion with being antisocial which is unfortunate! It is definitely important to have friends who are understanding

      Liked by 1 person

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